I have trust issues. With mirrors, that is. Even on the days when I spend an hour doing my hair and putting on makeup, I look into the mirror and still see the flaws. You see, mirrors magnify our weaknesses and drown out our strengths. They allow us to view a skewed reflection, believing it is the truth. As much as I would like to believe that I use my mirror to see my favorite traits, telling you that would be a lie. I, like every human, pick myself apart when it’s just the mirror and me. I focus on that new zit that magically appeared, despite how well I take care of my skin. I focus on those tan lines that will ruin how I look in a strapless top. I focus on how my hair is frizzy (dang humidity). I focus on how the stretch marks across my thighs and hips refuse to disappear.
Did you know that what you see in the mirror isn’t even true? There is a phenomenon called body dysmorphia where our brains skew our own perceptions of how we look. Furthermore, we tend to focus on the things we don’t like and our brains make our flaws seem bigger and more important than anyone else would think they are.
As I remind myself of these truths, my body whispers, “Be gentle to yourself. Your mirror will never tell you anything besides lies.” I’m here to remind you (and myself) of what your mirror will never tell you:
Your mirror will never tell you what a great friend and family member you are. It will not remind you of your giving, selfless heart. It will not prompt you to call your friends or schedule a dinner date with your parents. It will always keep you focusing on yourself.
Your mirror will never tell you how much you’ve accomplished in your lifetime. It will remind you of your perceived failures: the muscle you’ve lost, the hair you can’t tame, the remnants of a body of your past. It won’t remind you that you’ve graduated college, landed your dream job, gotten published, started your own business, raised a beautiful family, and followed your dreams.
Your mirror will never tell you how you’ve changed your own life. It will remind you of the things you haven’t changed and of where you’ve been. It will make you focus on your scars, not on the healing. It won’t tell you how you’ve recovered from an eating disorder, walked again after surgery, given birth to new life, or worked your way up from rock bottom.
Your mirror will never tell you that you are valuable. It will magnify all of the reasons that you feel unworthy and not good enough. It won’t remind you that you are so loved by many. It won’t remind you that you are an integral part of your workplace. It won’t remind you that you have purpose beyond what you may comprehend in this world.
Your mirror will never tell you that you are unstoppable. Your mirror will hinder you, as you focus on the things that bring you down. How can you tackle a big project or presentation when you are subconsciously fixated on the gap in your teeth or the zit on your face? Your mirror won’t remind you that you are a force to be reckoned with.
Your mirror will never tell you that you are more than your appearance. It only knows appearance. It won’t remind you that your “big thighs” are strong and can take you places. It won’t tell you that your “fluffy arms” take care of people. It won’t tell you that your “puffy eyes” reflect joy and see the best in others.
It is up to you to look past the mirror and move beyond the surface level, deeper into the core of who you really are. Use your mirror to help you get ready in the morning, and then say goodbye to it for the rest of the day. You are so much more than what your mirror tells you. And after all, who wants to be a slave to lies?